whiteboywaves:

Boy: *hands me diamond ring* will you marry me
Me: *puts diamond ring on* na

autisticqueermihashi:

piratecoves:

poopflow:

people who dry swallow pills go hard as hell and should not be fucked with

i used to dry swallow pills until a searing pain developed in my throat and chest and with the help of the world wide web i found out it burned a hole in my fucking throat please take your pills with water kiddies it’s worth it

HOLY SHIT OKAY


credit
Anonymous asked:
One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?

stripperina:

Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.

foodchewer:

maybe i’ll be hot tomorrow 

fitandfruity:

vnloved:

lame-waves:

i guess i recorded an ice bucket challenge today after i got my wisdom teeth out ??

Hahahahahahahahahah

OH MY GOD. Best ice bucket challenge video ever.

Siri…… cancel my three o’clock and access sexy_boob.exe